Since March of last year, our whole lives have been turned upside down. Allah SWT has shown us His Great Majesty and His Great Power and we have seen and felt the effects of all that He SWT is capable of. One of the things we have witnessed is the loss of loved ones, or we know others who have.
However, out of His mercy, Allah SWT has made available to us, through Prophet SAW, the most beautiful guidance on how to handle our grief and how to help our loved ones. Out of His Mercy, however, Allah SWT has made available to us, through Prophet (SAW), the most beautiful guidance on how to handle our grief and how to help our loved ones.
Whenever Allah SWT takes something away from us, He gives us great rewards in return if we are patient with His decree.
What a hopeful hadith! This is such a beautiful reassurance given to us by Allah (SWT) if we have lost someone. The hadith specifically mentions a “friend,” so imagine the reward for those of us who have lost our family members?
Allah SWT is more merciful than we can even imagine. Allah SWT says in a Hadith Qudsi about His servants, “I hate hurting him/her.”
Allah SWT does not want to hurt us. When Allah SWT decrees things that may hurt us, He provides us a way to earn His reward and pleasure, if we are patient. How much more mercy can we ask for?
This hadith is very important for anyone who wishes to benefit their loved ones when they have passed.
We can give charity on behalf of our loved ones by planting a tree in their name or by building a water well in their name. We can also spread the knowledge that they gave us, even if it were a little. The last one is dua.
The dua of a righteous child provides an immense amount of reward for their deceased parent. We should always make dua for our deceased family members, for their forgiveness first and foremost before anything else, as per the guidance of the Prophet (SAW).
There are a number of du’as that the Prophet (SAW) left us with that we can say for our loved ones that we lost.
1. Allahum-maghfir lahu warhamhu, wa 'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu, wa 'akrim nuzulahu, wa wassi' mudkhalahu, waghsilhu bilmaa'i wath-thalji wa-lbaradi, wa naqqihi minal-khataayaa kamaa naqqaytath-thawbal-'abyadha minad-danasi.
“Oh Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him and give him strength and pardon him. Be generous to him and cause his entrance to be wide and wash him with water and snow and hail. Cleanse him of his transgressions as white cloth is cleansed of stains.”
2. Allahum-maghfir lihayyinaa, wa mayyitinaa, wa shaahidinaa, wa ghaa'ibinaa, wa sagheerinaa wa kabeerinaa, wa thakarinaa wa 'unthaanaa. Allahumma man 'ahyaytahu minnaa fa'ahyihi 'alal-'Islaami, wa man tawaffaytahu minnaa fatawaffahu 'alal-'eemaani, Allahumma laa tahrimnaa 'ajrahu wa laa tudhillanaa ba'dahu.
“Oh Allah, forgive our living and our dead, those present and those absent, our young and our old, our males and our females. O Allah, whom among us You keep alive, then let such a life be upon Islam, and whom among us You take unto Yourself, then let such a death be upon faith. O Allah, do not deprive us of his reward and do not let us stray after him.”
3. Allahumma abduk wabnu amatik ihtaaja ila rahmatik wa anta ghaniyyun ‘an ‘adhaabih, in kaana muhsinan fazid fee hasanaatih, wa in kaana musee-an, fatajaawaz ‘anhu.
“Oh Allah, this son of a servant of yours is now in need of Your mercy and You are not in need of punishing that person. If he was pious then increase his rewards, and if he was a transgressor then pardon him.”
While the deceased are in need of our duas, we are also in need of du’as for our grieving hearts. The Prophet (SAW) left us with some amazingly comprehensive du’as for this purpose as well.
Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal-hammi wal-Ḥuzni wal-‘ajazi wal-kasli wal-bukhli wal-jubni wa ḍala’id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijal.
“O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men.”
Allaahumma innee abduk (for females: amatuk) wa-bnu abdik, naaSiyaatee bi-yadik, maaDin fiyya hukmuk), ‘Adlun fiyya qaDaa-uk, as’aluka bikullismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsak, aw ‘Allamtahu aHadam-minkhalaqik, aw-anzaltahu fee kitaabik, aw-ista’tharta, bihi fee ‘ilmil-ghaybi ‘indak, an taj’al-alquraana rabee’a qalbee, wa nuura SaDri, wa-jilaa’a Huznee, wa dhahaaba hammee.
“O Allah, I am your slave, the son of your slave. My forelock is in Your Hand. Your judgment of me is inescapable. Your trial of me is just. I am invoking You by all the names that You call Yourself, that You have taught to anyone in Your creation, that You have mentioned in Your Book, or that You have kept unknown. Let the Qur’an be delight of my heart, the light of my chest, the remover of my sadness and the remover of my distress.”
It was said, “O Messenger of Allah! (Do) we have to learn these words?” He said, “Yes, whoever hears them should learn them.”
May Allah SWT shower all of our loved ones who have passed with all His Forgiveness and Mercy, and may He elevate their status and grant them Jannatul-Firdaus.
May He give us the ability to do good that benefits them in their graves and May He soothe the aching and grieving hearts. Ameen.